Life Update
Sun, Jun 5, 2011 at 4:16 PM
Hey guys!!
So I'm on day #3 and although I can't feel my calves, my back pains could no doubt be mistaken for an 89 year olds, and I've easily gained 5 lbs, I'm really enjoying it!! I got into Columbia and onto the boat around 9pm Thursday night, unpacked my things and crashed. Woke up Friday morning and the boss came on a few hours later...talk about a "quick transition". So far I really like all the crew - of course there are a few odd balls (the engineer seems to be a very angry little man but he helped fix my computer and got my earring out of the drain so he's alright in my book) but all in all it's a good group! My chief stew seems a bit anal and rarely smiles, but if I have my way with her she'll be all smiles and laughing so hard she pees by the end of this trip :) It's different having someone "underneath me" but I'm liking the new challenge and if I do say so myself, I think I'm a pretty cool "boss". And other than her (Linn) it's all guys, which as most of you know works well for me (in a non-sexual way)...honestly, I enjoy working with guys - it's less drama and less headache. OH, and it turns out this is a DRY boat meaning NO DRINKING ALLOWED ON BOARD which I'm still trying to wrap my brain around...at first I was shocked and kind of pissed but as the initial sting wears off I'm starting to think it may be a good thing! Less boozing means less hangovers, which means more workouts and and less fat, which as we all knows makes for a happy Linzers!!
So our first round of guests get off tomorrow and we're left with Mr., Mrs. and Mrs. daughter Maxie (who is 25 but eats, talks, and acts like she's 10). And from here (which is Cartagena) we're heading to the Sand Blast Islands - BEAUTIFUL - and then from there we'll be heading to Panama City and through the canal (literally a once in a lifetime opportunity for me!!). We pick up another round of guests on the 12th, go to a few others spots, and we end this trip in Costa Rica. Guests get off and we have 12 days between trips - sounds like we'll be able to have 4 days off in Costa and 6 days off in Aruba :) Then we have another guest trip through the ABC islands, Bonaire, and a few other countries I'm not too familiar with and that's it - end of season! We'll have about 2 weeks off in South America and then start our crossing back up to FL.
I completely forgot to tell you about this owner - holy HELL is he different than my last one. He is SO friendly and outgoing, loves to laugh and interact with us. His girlfriend is absolutely stunning (it's her daughter that's on board right now) and ridiculously easy going...not demanding or high-maitanence at all - we don't even unpack their things, they do it all themselves! So all in all, there's been a lot to digest in a short amount of time but I'm adjusting well (getting along great with the guys and already feel like I can be myself) and definitely feel like I'm doing a good job (with work). We've got another 20 days so I'm sure I'll be dragging by then, but for now all is good and I definitely feel like I made the right decision!
Miss you all, love you tons!
mE
Life Update
Mon, Jun 27, 2011 at 11:37 PM
Missing you guys, a lot today. I'm trying to figure out exactly what I'm feeling and I'm having a hell of a time deciding what direction to go. I'm feeling a mix of regret, loneliness, excitement, curiosity, and determination...but no one emotion outweighs the other. Here's where I'm at physically and mentally... I'm on a boat called Libra III and the owner is AMAZING! He says I'm his favorite and every time I hear him talking to my Captain he's praising him on "the new hire." With that said, my chief stew became chief by default and is absolutely insane. Our owner got off yesterday and after hugging me goodbye he looks at Linn (that's my boss) and says "you need to slow down" and walked off the boat. She is on a complete power trip, talks just to hear her own voice, has no education, and communicates through condescending undermining comments. Everyone on the boat seems to despise her but fortunate for them, they all work outside while Linn and I run the interior. I miss my friends. I miss laughing, dancing, lounging, driving/singing, Cross Laking, making memories with my REAL friends. We're en route to Aruba...a place I've always wanted to go, but not with these people. I feel lost and completely confused. I feel like I'm missing out on things back in Mpls, but when I think back to why I decided to originally do this it was because I felt like I was missing out life by BEING in MN. So what the fuck? Deep down I know I'm meant to explore the world...to learn how to function in uncomfortable situations...to work on myself, develop my coping skills, and realize what's really important in life. But I fucking miss you guys. I miss being myself and laughing....not those courteous, short & sweet laughs that I've become accustomed to - but my REAL laugh...the one you can hear from down the block. I feel like I'm learning so much about myself, but at the same time I feel like I'm losing a part of myself. I can actually feel myself growing up, but not the way I want to. Like when I think of who I am, I'm proud of the carefree, playful, uninhibited, casual, honest, and real person I am. But over the past 9 months I feel like this industry is slowly changing me...I don't say what's on my mind, I rarely laugh, and I go to crew dinners and watch movies with people who are literally unbearable insane aliens. I take orders from people I'm 10 times smarter than and I clean toilets with fucking toothbrushes. Although it's humbling, it's also causing me to question who and what I am.
But even with all that, I want to keep going. Why? What am I looking for and when in the hell am I going to find it?? And what if I wait too long? What if I'm looking for something I never find, and what if by the time I'm ready to come back I'll have nothing to come back to? I just wish I could pause life back in MN, continue this whole self-discovery thing, and when I'm ready to come back everything & everyone will be the same. Dear God...I hear myself write that and realize what a big fat unrealistic baby I am. Here's the deal - at the end of the day I know I'm meant to be here, doing this, but that doesn't take away the waves of overwhelming "missingness"...see, I'm getting dumber by the minute (doesn't help that I just got off watch and am running on Oreos and coffee). So that's it in a nutshell. The 26 day owner's trip is done and I'm surprised these 8 psychopaths didn't kill each other. We've traveled through Colombia, the Panama Canal (which is an unforgettable experience...making the transition from the Atlantic to Pacific Ocean is unREAL!),
and we ended the trip in Costa Rica. We're now en route back up to Panama - should be crossing back over to the Atlantic on Wednesday, and then Aruba for the next 3 weeks...owner's get back on July 14th and the circus continues until Aug 6th. Sounds like the plan is to hang out in Aruba for awhile - the Hurricane season is just beginning so weather back up to FL may be tricky. As it stands I 100% plan to get on a different boat this Fall...head to Europe for the winter/spring then spend a month in South Africa and then COME HOMEEEEEEE!! But as you guys know, my mind changes like the wind so who the hell knows where I'll be in 2012...all I know is that the curiosity of what lies ahead and my stubborn/determined mind is what's keeping me going, that and the love & support I get from you guys on a daily basis :) It's crazy what this time away has done to make me realize what an amazing life I have, and how lucky I am to have friends and family like you.
and we ended the trip in Costa Rica. We're now en route back up to Panama - should be crossing back over to the Atlantic on Wednesday, and then Aruba for the next 3 weeks...owner's get back on July 14th and the circus continues until Aug 6th. Sounds like the plan is to hang out in Aruba for awhile - the Hurricane season is just beginning so weather back up to FL may be tricky. As it stands I 100% plan to get on a different boat this Fall...head to Europe for the winter/spring then spend a month in South Africa and then COME HOMEEEEEEE!! But as you guys know, my mind changes like the wind so who the hell knows where I'll be in 2012...all I know is that the curiosity of what lies ahead and my stubborn/determined mind is what's keeping me going, that and the love & support I get from you guys on a daily basis :) It's crazy what this time away has done to make me realize what an amazing life I have, and how lucky I am to have friends and family like you.
So with all that said it's time for bed...the Pacific Ocean is extra calm and the sky is extra bright tonight - wish you could be here with me! I love you guys so much and no doubt will have a lot more updates in the coming months. Keep me posted on life back in Minnie...not a day goes by where I don't think of you guys so do me a favor and let me know you're alive and well (minus Dad and Chilly, you guys are good :).
xoxxoxoxox,
mE
Life in Woggie's world
Thursday, July 7, 2011 10:09 PM
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| My first 'free' ascent |
Life on the boat hasn't changed much, my Chief is still a loony tune and my Captain is a Napoleon hillbilly, but my spirits have been lifted and I think I'll make it through this next trip alive :) The guests come back next Thursday so we've got a lot to do, but I've reserved a private horse tour on Saturday - galloping across the island (Aruba is relatively small), exploring desolate beaches, etc so I'm very excited for that! And the guys are dragging me along on an ATV excursion...not so into that but it's a way to get out and see places off the beaten path (and get away from the boat) so I'll let you know how that goes :)
Other than that, I don't have much news. I'm planning to head over to Thailand (one-way ticket style) in November and will probably be there a month or so before heading to Bali. I have no plans other than to dive....I guess the South Pacific has some CRAZY beautiful waters with great dive sights, and the more I look into Bali the more I'm starting to think about a spiritual advisor. There was one other person in my dive "class" - an Arubian native who's currently doing her residency in Amsterdam but did a lot of studying in Bali. She gave me a contact there and her stories were nothing short of amazing...inspiring would be an understatement. As my inhibitions and fear of being (traveling) alone subside I'm starting to see a whole new world of possibilities. I know my Peter Pan stage will have to come to an end sooner or later, but until that time comes I've decided to cease every opportunity I can to make me a better person. If that's sending an e-mail to Casey after 5 years just to clear my head and close a chapter than so be it....P.S I did, and he responded. Or if that means making a conscious effort to do the things I say "I've always wanted to do"...regardless of time, money, or geography.
All in all, I've definitely learned that 4 weeks on a boat - even if it's a Super Yacht - is too long and can definitely alter my perspective on things. I am happy and confident in my decision to leave home, but I'd be kidding myself if I said there aren't times I want to pack my Northface duffle bag and crawl home. I think about you guys every night before I go to bed and unless my asshole Chief steps on me getting down from bed, you're the first thing I think of when I wake up. I love you more than you know!
With all my love -
mE
Lindsay ~
You are beautiful, talented, amazing and passionate about life. Never lose sight of any of those wonderful qualities you have. You are exactly where you should be, experience a journey unique to you with friends and family who love you dearly and will always be here for you.
Just breathe my dear!! Breathe in the fresh air of freedom, of laughter, of adventure, of a course unmapped but one that will provide so much to you upon discovery.
When you are ready to take on something new, that new will be here for you. You will be radiant and enter into that new journey (however scary it might be) having gone through something so incredible.
I love you, I miss you and I believe in you my friend.
Until your next note, I'm sending you love and hugs!
Linds - I am so proud and jealous of you. Live every moment. The good and the bad. And know they are helping to shape one of the worlds most beautiful people. You amaze me. I have never felt more proud of someone. Live. Your. Life. We are the lucky ones. My heart is with you always. If you are ever sad or lonely know I am feeling or have felt the same. You are my sister. Here for you forever. Xxxxxx.
